Thank you to all the great men in my life. Even if they didn't always act great towards me, I know you all have the potential to be great men admired by your children.
You probably just lacked a man who was manly, had integrity and dignity, and who you could look up to as boys. And who was neither a liar, a criminal, nor a thug. Whose love and softness you could feel as soon as he entered the room. Who radiated so much strength and security with just that kind that it was hard not to surrender to that feeling of security.
Didn't you have such a person in your childhood? A grandfather, a father, an uncle or a teacher. I'm sure you did. And if not, you know exactly what I mean. Because you are smiling right now and you feel this warm feeling in your heart.
I wish every child, every boy has this kind of male role model that they can learn from and decide who they want to grow up to be.
Not only is it important to be such a role model for your own children. But also for themselves. You have to give yourself this power, strength, confidence and security. Without giving it to yourself. You have to be it. Because there will be so many situations in life when you will feel empty, insecure, rejected. In which one will not know how to decide and will not react appropriately because of the lack of the right decision.
Girls can be big and strong, independent and self-reliant, honest and confident. But what we all still want is a man who can give us just that and more. More of that masculine security. The security we were supposed to get from our dad when we were little. That security that everything is ok no matter what we do, that we can talk about anything without being judged and that any problem can be solved. And all the while we should feel his love and see him smiling at us.
You don't know what to do now, how to do it or how to implement such an attitude?
Well, it may be a long and very personal way to become such a man and a dad. But you can start by remembering men who have had the same effect on you as I described above. If you have this feeling, then compare yourself with them in your everyday situations and try to create such safe situations and encounters. Ask yourself e.g. how would this person act now.
And another relationship tip for all dads with daughters: How would you like your daughter to be treated by a man? You should treat your partner and women in general the same way.
Very simple!
